How to build real relationships in VC (not just connections)

Hi! I’m glad you’re here. You’ve made it to issue #58 of VC Demystified🪄.

My name’s Nicole - I’m a Principal at an early stage venture fund, and I know firsthand that VC can often be a black box. Breaking into the industry may feel daunting and resources can seem scarce and inaccessible. I wanted to put together a newsletter to give others the playbook I wish I had when I first started.

Today’s deep dive: The 6 underrated tactics to build real relationships in VC that actually work

^{My personal mission is to open as many doors as possible for other people and this newsletter is just one avenue to do that. As always, I will continue to post VC insights daily for free across my socials.}

Read time: 4 minutes

How to build real relationships in VC (not just connections)

The 6 underrated tactics that actually work and most people miss.

If you’re trying to break into VC, you’ve probably heard this advice a dozen times:

“Don’t be transactional. Build real relationships.”

But what does that actually look like?

Everyone says they want to network authentically. Few people know how to.

So today’s issue is about how to stop networking like a job applicant and start showing up like a peer.

Let’s get into it.

Six Tactical Ways to Build Real Relationships in VC

1. Shift the channel. Get off email.

Most people stick to cold emails or DMs. That’s fine to start but not to stay.

Once you’ve built a little rapport, ask to move the convo to text. It’s casual, fast, and human.

This subtle shift moves you out of the inbox (aka work zone) and into a space where actual friends live.

2. Create real-life collisions

You can only connect so much through Zoom.

In-person > virtual calls, any day of the week.

Whether it’s:

• A conference you’re both attending

• A coffee in their city

• An off-the-cuff meetup during travel

Find ways to get into the same room because that’s when conversations start to veer off script and go deeper.

3. Connect on something non-VC

Startups. Sectors. Sourcing. Everyone talks about that!

What about:

• What podcasts they love

• What city they just visited

• What their hobbies are

• What their spouse’s, kid’s, dog’s names are

The best relationships in VC feel like actual friendships. You build those by being a human first not a LinkedIn headline.

Pro tip: Find one “non-work hook” to keep in rotation. (Books, workout classes, pickleball… use it.) Reach out when you have a great book rec, just did an amazing spin class, etc.

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